MATERIAL STRESS
MATERIAL STRESS
As another school year begins, you may find an uptick in your stress level knowing what’s happening with your checkbook or credit card account. Sure, there are numerous necessary expenditures that must be met, whether it involves extra school supplies, new clothing or uniforms, as well as signing up for extracurricular activities or another year of day care. These bills quickly add up whether you are a two-or one-income family. So, such pressures are understandable. Some of these expenditures will fall under the heading of a “need” while others fall under the heading of a “want”. Knowing how to prioritize and balance both often requires some juggling.
But, if you find yourself fretting or becoming more irritable worrying about the mounting expenses, take heart. Chances are, you are not alone. However, you do need to realize your mindset can affect your heath as well as your day to day interactions with your family. If so, do yourself a favor, step back, and take a personal time out so you can stop and see the bigger picture.
Till next time
Dr Andrea Corn
www.DrAndreaCorn.com
http:www.facebook.comDrAndreaCorn
Dr. Andrea Corn is a licensed family psychotherapist …
Advice for Empty Nesters
It is not unusual for a mom or dad to feel blue once their youngest (or only) child heads off for college.
The past eighteen years, your life has revolved around your child/ren, so this inevitable change and adjustment may be initially difficult.
Do give yourself some time, especially if you are missing the parental role you’ve played for years.
However, it is important to realize that this separation is a necessary phase in your child’s development toward independence and adulthood.
Every parent has to undergo this necessary loss, whether your child heads off to college in or out of state, or begins community college nearby.
Part of being a parent is accepting each phase of development.
Hopefully, through the course of raising your child, you have given your son or daughter the tools to become increasingly self-sufficient and self-reliant.
Think about these years as transitional ones; times when your college student will rely on your words as well as shun your good advice. You’ll still receive those phone calls, texts, or emails asking for guidance, advice, and possibly extra money!
These are the years your almost-to-be adult is engaged in higher learning but also gaining valuable life lessons through friendships, relationships, and independent decisions.
Now, let’s now transition to helping you cope with this change. Be careful not to let your sadness or loneliness pull you down or distract you from re-discovering new interests, prior hobbies, or volunteering.
It doesn’t matter what you choose as long as you enjoy your decision. Carpooling, running errands, and going to high school functions may be ending, but what can be starting is a new lease on life for yourself.
The choices are plentiful, so it could be hard to make up your mind. Some adults make a career change, mentor, or enjoy learning and sign up for adult education classes. These times can be very rewarding, if you allow yourself to view them positively.
But, if you find yourself unable to see the opportunities that exist several weeks later, and are still very sad and no one or nothing can lift your spirits, I recommend seeking professional help.
Alleviate your child’s fear of Hurricanes
Some children are very sensitive and easily impacted by the news they see on TV or hear on the radio.
Hearing reports about tropical storms brewing out in the Atlantic that potentially could become the next hurricane can lodge in a child’s mind and exacerbate his or her fears.
Here are some thoughts on how you may help your child during the hurricane season in South Florida.
Young children’s fears often arise when information heard is abstract and therefore, not fully understood.
Children are very eager to learn about the world around them, but they need help to make sense of the information presented.
Children under the age of eight often cannot grasp complex concepts.
Thus, hearing about a tropical storm thousands of miles away that has the potential to change into a hurricane is beyond his or her cognitive ability.
Your child may know what it’s like to be in a thunderstorm, but that does not fully explain the power of a hurricane.
Moreover, your child may be thinking about this event in very personal terms; wondering could these strong winds and pounding rain could personally affect his or her immediate surrounding and family.
It your find your child asking the same questions over and over without satisfaction, chances are your youngster is anxious. In that case, it would be best to first reassure and comfort your child before providing factual answers.
It’s not the question that causes his or her worry, rather it is the unspoken thoughts or feelings that are disturbing. It would be best to acknowledge your child’s apprehension and let them know it is ok.
By reassuring your child, you are actually reducing his or her fear by speaking about its presence. Ironically, talking about what is scary can actually bring relief.
But, if you find your child is still uneasy, then you need to find out if something else is weighing on your child’s mind. Otherwise, it may just take a little longer than anticipated for the worry to dissipate.
Some children may remain anxious because they’ve picked up some verbal or nonverbal cues from their mother or father.
Besides letting your child know you will do everything necessary to protect your home, townhome, condo, or apt. paying attention to your youngster’s non-verbal communication is critically important.
And, if you can relay your words in soothing way without getting exasperated, this too will help create an atmosphere of safety. Your child needs to know it is ok to share innermost thoughts, feelings, as well as fantasies.
This can also help your child realize there is a difference between what is real and unreal.
One last idea may be to allow your child to participate in simple hurricane preparations. Letting your child put the peanut butter in the grocery cart, to using a tracking map to physically document the next storm may decrease anxiety and create a greater sense of personal control.
Whether your child fears hurricanes or other weather-related events helping your youngster develop ways to appropriately cope is teaching a valuable life lesson.
There will always be storms we must weather in life, whether actual or metaphorical.
Knowing that it is safe to discuss and share one’s feelings is important.
Once this lesson is learned, the better your child will fare. A reassuring word, comforting gesture, or hug can make all the difference as you let your child know you are there to comfort and soothe his or her fears which is actually more powerful than you may realize.
For additional information and practical tips, check out Fema’s website: www. fema.gov/kids)
Till next time
Dr Andrea Corn
www.DrAndreaCorn.com
http://www.facebook.com/DrAndreaCorn
SLEEP AWAY CAMP and SEPARATION –ANXIETY – Who feels it more? Parents or Children?
Who feels it more? Parents or Children?
Sleep away camp is supposed to be a wonderful and fun-filled experience. Yet, some children find the adventure far less enjoyable.
Why? In part, it may depend on how well you have prepared your child for this adventure; especially if this is your child’s first time away from you.
You need to talk with your child about his or her feelings; which includes your child’s excitement and positive feelings but also his or her scared or anxious feelings too.
Most likely, all of them are going on inside your child’s mind.
Sleep away camp is exciting but for younger or first time campers, expect some discomfort attached to going away.
Once your child is away at camp he or she does not have you to rely on; whether to offer a hug, say consoling words, or share a favorite snack.
Chances are, your child will have a wonderful and caring counselor, but it cannot replace your presence.
So, be understanding if your child experiences moments of homesickness.
Going away to camp enables a child to learn about self-reliance and camaraderie in a supportive and structured environment.
Children learn new facets about themselves. They must handle relationships as well as handle conflicts without parental guidance.
Part of this occurs through learning to live among non-family members, plus cooperate with cabin mates by performing chores or playing games they may dislike.
Some parents find it easier to accept this time apart, recalling their own nostalgic childhood memories attending camp.
However, there are other parents who have a harder time accepting their child’s separation for a variety of reasons.
If your child’s departure date is creating discomfort and apprehension for you, be aware your feeling could be misinterpreted in your child’s mind.
If you suspect this, don’t deny or ignore the situation. Do talk about your feelings; but using age appropriate words.
It is natural to be thinking about how much you will miss your son or daughter because you love them.
But, don’t make them feel as if they are deserting you or that separating is too painful.
Otherwise, this could prompt feelings of guilt and make it harder for your child to feel comfortable leaving, which would defeat the purpose for sending your child away to summer camp.
Cellphone Etiquette Advice for Parents of Teens
Cellphone Etiquette and Advice for Parents of Teens
Today’s pre-teens s are attached at the hip and/or wrist to their cell phones. Today’s generations of teenagers are skilled and proficient typists.
It is just a guess but in many cases it probably takes less than a minute to tap out a word, perhaps two, or send an entire sentence before the answer flashes across the screen in return.
Dr Andrea Corn
Facebook
-
