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Cellphone Etiquette Advice for Parents of Teens

DocACorn — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 18:04:38 +0000

Cellphone Etiquette and Advice for Parents of Teens

Today’s pre-teens s are attached at the hip and/or wrist to their cell phones. Today’s generations of teenagers are skilled and proficient typists.

It is just a guess but in many cases it probably takes less than a minute to tap out a word, perhaps two, or send an entire sentence before the answer flashes across the screen in return.

At the same time these messages are filtered through an electronic device whether that screen is a cell phone or laptop computer.

This additional barrier is how we engage in many conversations. It is socially acceptable and the norm. This will not change.

But for those of us you who are parents today, you also know this is a departure from how you grew up and were raised. There is no history or precedent to fall back on.

So, you are the pioneers with your kids on cell phone etiquette and their respecting you.

So the statement, “it is a different world today raising young children”, has never been more apt or true.

While we are literally a finger tip away from having electronic contact with another, we also need to make sure the message sent was actually heard with its proper intent. Having a conversation face to face is not the same as typing one out on a keyboard.

What happens when your son or daughter does not reply to your message to return your call? Or, come home? Or, let you know that an errand, task, or chore was completed?

Be careful not to level the playing field in cell phone banter and reduce your authority.

A teen’s cell phone should be a privilege not expected upon reaching a double digit age. Have you thought about how you will handle such moments?

You need to plan ahead, as it will be up to you to explain, set the rules and then follow through with the appropriate consequence if and when that time occurs.

Till Next Time

Andrea

www.DrAndreaCorn.com

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New Year, how about a New You?

DocACorn — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 17:45:49 +0000

New Year, how about a New You?

What is the one area of self-improvement you would like to create for yourself in 2011?

Are you ready and willing to say to yourself, I want to make this change?

Do you have faith in yourself? Can you envision yourself achieving this transformation?

In order to succeed, you first need to believe.

Making a personal change is not easy, but it isn’t impossible either.

Pick something fairly easy at first, that you feel you can master.

Try not to set yourself up by expecting to make a change that is unrealistic.

In order to make the effort, you must be mindful and think about what you are going to do differently.

You will also need to show determination and not give up.

Sometimes it is hard to sustain will power, but as long as you don’t give in to won’t or can’t power and are patient and supportive, you are headed in the right direction to accomplish your goal.

Till Next Time

Andrea

www.DrAndreaCorn.com

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Are you feeling like a football widow???

DocACorn — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 17:28:03 +0000

Are you feeling like a football widow:

Rather than complain, why not reclaim this time for yourself!

Would you like to score points in your relationship with your guy? Can you let him watch the college bowl games and the upcoming NFL playoffs without giving him a hard time?

Football season will be ending soon. Certainly, his total fascination could leave you feeling ignored or neglected. And, feeling hurt would be understandable.

No one likes to feel displaced. But, how about looking at this situation differently? There is another perspective you could try. And, that would be, to focus on making yourself happy this time of year, rather than narrowing your attention to his unavailability

Choose to use this time to engage in some activity or learn something that appeals to you. Can you shift your focus? Try treating yourself kindly. It will

certainly feel better than remaining hurt or angry.

And, if you can figure out something you will enjoy doing, not only will you be taking charge and showing healthy

independence; but you may surprise yourself by finding a hobby that becomes fulfilling or a creative talent that was lying dormant.

Till Next Time

Andrea

www.DrAndreaCorn.com

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Turn over a new leaf –

DocACorn — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 14:48:36 +0000

Turn over a new leaf –

Now that the calendar page has turned to December, have you taken the time to stop and reflect upon what this year has brought into your life? For some, it has brought blessings and new beginnings.

Yet, for others, this has been a difficult year; full of struggles, disappointments, and heartbreaks.

Your loss may have involved the ending of a relationship, a decline in health, or perhaps the ending of a job. Usually a loss is associated with something unpleasant.

Yet, sometimes saying goodbye to someone or some situation may be a necessary ending.

Perhaps you might even have remained in an unrewarding situation despite receiving signals in your head, heart, or body?

Sometimes adults dismiss their own misery, and rationalize the feelings, as if it is simply part of the human condition.

Yet, rather than denying or fighting off the bad feelings; perhaps this is the time to say to yourself, enough!

Is it possible for you to see this ending as an opportunity to welcome a new beginning? 2011 is less than a month away.

Try to use these next few weeks as a time of preparation to let something unexpected or new enter into your life.

Remember, change cannot occur until you are ready to let go of what you are holding on to; and that can include discomfort. This feeling may be what you are used to, but that doesn’t mean it’s where you want to be.

Change isn’t easy. However, dwelling over past regrets or staying hurt or angry only keeps you stuck in a rut. It is not going to change or erase what has occurred.

If you are willing to try to see your loss with a different perspective, then you might have an easier time accepting someone or some new situation into your life.

Till Next Time

Dr Andrea Corn

http://www.drandreacorn.com/

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Thanksgiving Holiday

DocACorn — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 22:59:12 +0000

Home for the Holidays

Chances are many of us will be spending Thanksgiving enjoying all our traditional and favorite dishes, watching parades and NFL games on TV, as well as being in the company of family, friends, and/or loved ones.

Others may be sharing the holiday with newly acquired friends, school or work mates, or may have to be alone.

Whoever you are with or without this holiday season, the most important message I can impart to those of you who approach this time of year with some anticipation or dread is not to let those familiar, yet unpleasant memories and feelings from the past pull you down.

In other words, be mindful that you can choose what memories, thoughts, and feelings to hold on to.

So, besides enjoying your delicious meal, savor the good ones and let those memories be the ones that feel right at home in your heart this Thanksgiving year.

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Thanksgiving Holidays

DocACorn — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 03:03:23 +0000

Home for the Holidays

Others may be sharing the holiday with newly acquired friends, school or work mates, or may have to be alone.

In other words, be mindful that you can choose what memories, thoughts, and feelings to hold on to.

So, besides enjoying your delicious meal, savor the good ones and let those memories be the ones that feel right at home in your heart this Thanksgiving year.

Till Next Time

Andrea

www.DrAndreaCorn.com

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Tweens, Texting, and Parenting – don’t lose your real connection

DocACorn — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 15:44:32 +0000

While there is a comfort factor in knowing you can be key strokes away from being in touch with your tween or teen whenever needed; yet the concern I wish to express to parents is to be aware that allowing your youngsters greater and greater reliance on texting and less on the art of actual conversation, may negatively impact your parenting. Face to face conversation with parents involve listening to not only your words, but also the emotions and sometimes intentional intonations behind your message. With texting, (as well email), sometimes the real feelings end up being misunderstood or completely lost because reading words cannot be equated with hearing, seeing, and understanding you in that moment.
Yes, we have become a society hooked on our digital technology for all it offers our finger tips at phenomenal speeds. However, such split second artifically creates the idea that conversations should be quick and brief.
Parents, please do not lose sight of what may be considered “old school” or even “old fashioned”, but there will be times when you need to take the necessary amount of time to engage in face to face interactions, where pausing, reflecting on your thoughts and feelings, or even struggling at times to find the right words or share your feelings is not easy. Yet, it also demonstrate the intensity and probably importance of the moment. If you find your conversations occurring with more frequency on a flat screen in short hand lingo, you have only yourself to blame.
Parents, don’t lose sight of the necessity for real and meaningful conversations where one or both sides may struggle – struggle to say what needs to be said, yet take the time to talk it out and work it through. Even these moments are important in teaching your son or daughter this occurs will occur; even when offering your advice, knowledge, and lived experience, as well as your need to be a disciplinarian. The concern I am expressing is the decline in knowing how to talk to another. Kids need to have their parents role model how to engage in reasonable or civil conversation, to respect one another’s feelings, and to be able to handle disagreements, disappointments, as well as appropriately assert oneself so bad behavior or inappropriate interactions that we have read about and witnessed in our communities and others don’t escalate to cause embarassement, to shame, or even unspeakable harm.

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Using Tiger Woods Apology as a Teaching Moment for your Chiild

DocACorn — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 17:56:07 +0000

Chances are, your son or daughter has already heard Tiger’s remarks, or heard their parent or another person (spouse, significant other, teacher, friend, neighbor, etc.,) discuss his Friday TV and radio interview. After making his 13 1/2 minute apology, have you taken time to use this as a teaching opportunity?
By that, I mean, have you asked your son or daughter his or her thoughts about a famous athlete apologizing to the public for bending the rules, thinking they did not apply to him in his marital life.
Before you even comment on the factual information contained in your child’s remark, try to focus first on his or her emotional reaction. This would be most important especially if you find yourself reacting in a manner than causes you to feel upset, confused, or disappointed. What will be necessary then is to discern what your child is primarily responding to? Is it that he or she thinks the apology erases the inappropriate behavior? It’s over and no big deal. Or, is your child’s response based on what he or she has heard peers say at school; thus affecting or negating his or her own viewpoint? What if your child is identifying in some way with Tiger, hoping that a public confession will exonerate him if caught for wrongdoing. In other words, if your child misbehaves (not in the same way as Tiger, of course!), but will his or her confession enable your child to escape any further humiliation or punishment? Will be there be genuine remorse? What consequences remain in place? What has your child ultimately learned?
What I am trying to propose to parents, is not to focus exclusively on what Tiger did or how he came across during his confessional speech, but have you been able to use this moment as a positive learning experience so your child is given the opportunity to express his or her views, to possibly explore the differences between the spoken words, past deeds, and future behavior.
Having these kinds of open communications will go much further in strengthening the bonds between each of you. After all, it is unlikely that Tiger’s behavior is going to impact your life. But, we do live in a society where hear and see mixed messages.
In the end, your son and daughter may be more positively impacted by your willingness to talk about a difficult topic without dismissing, ignoring, or avoiding this current hot topic.

s that we live in a society where there are mixed messages. Tiger has already disgraced himself by his own arrogance and believing social and marital rules did not apply to him. Despite his phenomenal prowess and success as being known as the world’s best golfer, how he has conducted himself up until now has both on and off the links has shown us another side to his character, and hopefully one you’d rather not see your children emulate.

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What Should I Say To My Child About Sports Tragedies?

DocACorn — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 22:48:48 +0000

Parents may wonder what to say to their youngsters, if asked, about the tragic death of Georgian luger Nodar Kumariktashuili. As families from around the US and possibly other countries watched the opening ceremonies, they were presented with this terribly stunning and heart breaking news. Such an incident seemed unimaginable, knowing these talented athletes had prepared for years for this event. Regardless, this life ending tragic accident has raised questions about this Olympic Luge course.

However, the purpose of this blog is to help parents respond to their son or daughter if he or she asks questions about this horrible event. Depending upon developmental age and stage of your child, your response will vary. Without getting into specifics at this point, what is most important is to be keenly aware of your child’s reaction. This will help you know what to say. Along with paying attention to your child’s question, try and be mindful of his or her non verbal communications, which includes voice tone (anxiety, curiosity, or fear), body language, and/or behavior (such as waking up in the middle of the night due to having a nightmare.)

Your child could surprise you by raising a thoughtful or poignant question, wondering aloud why did did such a this happen? Or, could I die playing (fill in the blank) sports? Younger children will insert themselves in the question, whereas older children are better able to shift perspectives and reveal their thoughts and feelings about the terrible event. Still, it is helpful if you can enable your youngster to see the differences between what is probable vs. what is actually possible (for example, lightening may strike, but the possibility of it striking you is considerably smaller). The main emphasis at this point will be to answer your child’s question simply, directly, and honestly.

Just remember, if you child starts asking you about this tragic incident, focus on your child’s feelings first, (be it anxious, scared, or sad) before answering his or her question directly; because comforting and soothing should take precedent. Hearing frightening news an be very scary. Your child needs your reassurance in order to feel his or her world is a safe place. By alleviating your child’s fears, you have given your child what is most important, and that is the sense of felt emotinal security.

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