Now that the calendar page has turned to December, have you taken the time to stop and reflect on 2011 and what is has brought or taken from you?

For some, it has brought blessings and new beginnings. Yet, for others, this has been a difficult year; full of struggles, disappointments, and heartbreaks.  For some this year may have been about loss: whether it involved the ending of a relationship, a decline in health, or perhaps the ending of a job.

Often, a loss is associated with something sad and unpleasant.  Yet, sometimes saying goodbye to someone or some situation may be a necessary ending.  Perhaps you might even have remained longer than you should have in an unrewarding situation despite receiving all those signals in your head or heart to exit.   Sometimes misery is dismissed and feelings are rationalized, as if it is simply part of the human condition.

If you could give yourself one gift, but a gift you cannot purchase in a store, or find in a catalog, or shop for on line, what would you select?

It happens to be a gift everyone possesses, if they chose to look within. 

And, that is the gift of being kind and considerate to yourself. 

 If you can withhold unrealistic self-criticism, negativity, or judgmental thoughts, and instead find a way to be more supportive, reassuring, and empathic, you will have given yourself an incredible present.  

It is the kind of gift that provides comfort and inner security during times of need.

Developing self-acceptance is invaluable for peace of mind and truly becomes a present that keeps on giving….. 

Till next time

Dr Andrea Corn

www.DrAndreaCorn.com

http://www.facebook.com/DrAndreaCorn

Some adults find themselves in a downward spiral because reminiscing about the past brings more sadness than joy.   Others become saddened over the absence of cherished family traditions.  Many South Floridians are separated down here from loved ones or are alone as a result of divorce, illness, or other personal losses.  Recent economic conditions have brought additional restrictions to where opening one’s home, one’s heart, or one’s wallet becomes a heavy and unwelcome burden.

Truth be told, the holiday blues are not just defined by one’s external reality.  Frequently, this condition is related to what’s happening inside the recesses of one’s mind.

It may be hard to believe one’s thinking could also be a culprit. Notwithstanding medical, financial, or relationship problems, if more time is spent brooding about the past, rehashing old injustices or worrying about what has yet come to pass, then one’s thoughts perpetuate their own misery.

You can give yourself a wonderful gift, and that is the gift of peace of mind. But, you must be willing to change your outlook. Yes, it takes mental discipline, but with practice and perseverance, you can gain greater mental and emotional self-control.

If you are saying humbug to yourself reading this, chances are, your negative thinking is stronger than you realize.  It is scary to leave behind what’s familiar. As much as one hates to suffer, it is sometimes harder to risk trying something new. Changing deeply ingrained patterns and ways of thinking requires conscious effort, but it is possible to do.

Despite whatever circumstances exist in your life, and no matter your age, you have the potential to lift the dark clouds and dispel the blues that permeates your being.    This article can only point you in the direction to be more aware of what’s going on inside of you rather than dismiss or ignore all those cues.  Otherwise, they will remain pent up inside and continue to fester.

This holiday season can you learn to be your own best friend and accept yourself with less criticism and fewer unrealistic expectations?  If you can be your own source of comfort and support, then you are well on your way to lifting the holiday blues.

Here are a few other tips to help more joy into your life.

1)       Appreciate what makes you unique. Identify your personal assets (i.e., a good problem solver or listener).

2)      Give yourself a gift:  It could be kindness, forgiveness, or perhaps patience.

3)      Get busy. Activity is a wonderful way to forget your own problems and get out of your head.  Consider volunteering.

4)      Gifts can come from the heart.  Not all gifts must be store bought.  Share a favorite recipe or send an email sharing a memorable family story.

5)      Appreciate your surroundings. Take a walk on the beach, or by a park.  Reconnect with nature.

6)      Choose friends who make you laugh and feel good.

7)      Fulfill a realistic dream.

Yet, if none of these suggestions lift your spirits, please, consult with your medical doctor as your symptoms requires further attention.

Till next time

Dr Andrea Corn

www.DrAndreaCorn.com

http://www.facebook.com/DrAndreaCorn

Are there nights where you just can’t get a good night sleep? Do you find yourself drifting off to sleep; but then, several hours later you are wide awake hours before your alarm is set to go off.   

If your mind is restless, wandering, or wrestling with various thoughts, it is hard to shut out all of  that interference.  

Hopefully, such sleepless nights are infrequent. But, when they occur, your good night’s sleep has gone out the (proverbial) window.

  What are the reasons? Well, they could vary widely between something personal, professional, financial, or even health related. 

You could be consumed about something related to yourself, a family member, co-worker, friend, or simply a story heard on TV, radio, or the internet.

 Whatever the problem may be, a spectrum of emotions will be connected to your thoughts. 

For some, these sleepless nights revolve around a future event.

 For others, it may have more to do with the past or past relationships.  Some individuals become consumed with worry and doubt; others experience pent-up anger and frustration; while others still find themselves full of sadness and melancholy feelings.  

But, whatever is going on inside of you, the inability to resolve it through thinking can be unsettling. 

In addition, all the emotions that have been tugging at your head and heart sometimes spill over and end up affecting your waking hours. 

If that’s the case, then reaching out for help may be the best thing you can do. Sometimes it is very difficult to unravel the problem or see an available solution. 

In that case, perhaps it is time to consider scheduling an appointment with a mental health professional.  After all, a therapist is trained to listen with objectivity and clarity, as well as to be attuned to what is being spoken on many different levels.

By that I mean, it is not just the words, or the content expressed; as much listening to what is shared by one’s facial expressions, voice tone, and body language. 

Often times, these subtle changes are outside someone’s awareness.  As your emotional and mental knot is untangled. your peace of mind should return as well as a good night sleep.

 In that case, why not sleep on it and see how this feels in the morning…  

Till next time

Dr Andrea Corn

www.DrAndreaCorn.com

http:www.facebook.comDrAndreaCorn

The reason for the absence is that I only write when I am inspired or motivated as the one common denominator is I must feel passionate about the topic in order to share my views.

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Over the last few weeks, much of our attention has been directed to our nation’s economic woes.

There has been quite a lot of troubling news this month, from worrying about the country’s unresolved debt crisis, to Standard and Poor’s lowering of the nation’s AAA credit rating, its impact on the stock market, prompting concerns about our nation’s economic health.

With so much financial volatility going on, psychologically it’s has felt like we’ve been on an emotional roller coaster, without knowing how much longer until the ride is over.

The question such uncertainty raises, is how best can we keep our peace of mind amidst the current financial uncertainty?

Here are a few thoughts to consider:

It’s probably impossible to ignore or dismiss the bad news emanating from the TV, radio, or Internet.   But, each of us can decide what to filter out as well as what to attend to in order to take some control not feel overwhelmed.

Fortunately, we possess the ability to use our mind constructively.

Although it is beyond any one person’s ability to fix our nation’s financial mess, it is possible to learn how to gain greater mental and emotional stability. Developing this skill requires practice, diligence, but often some therapy if you want longstanding benefits.

Many of you have the intellect and determination to attempt it on your own.  Certainly, there are a wealth of self-help books and resources to turn to.

However, it is extremely difficult to acquire the level of objectivity, emotional detachment, and insight without the help of a professionally trained psychologist or psychotherapist.

Over time, therapy hopefully will enable you to experience greater self-awareness and understanding.

The benefits can even include feelings of liberation and joy as particular obstacles are removed.

Being in a safe and supportive environment, offers the opportunity to listen to your internal dialogue and develop coping skills to alleviate anxiety, stress, and worry.

Entering therapy is not about eliminating worrisome, frightening or unhappy thoughts or feelings. Rather, it teaches you how to cope with whatever is happening in your life as well what’s happening in the world.

Facing the unknown and handling the unexpected is important since that is something we all confront in our daily lives.

Till next time

Dr Andrea Corn

www.DrAndreaCorn.com

http://www.facebook.com/DrAndreaCorn

Texting may be the fastest, most streamline, and no frills way to reach someone, but it doesn’t always mean the message sent ends up to be the one received.    Too often, a simple one or two word response can be interpreted in different ways.

Hard to believe such a feat could occur.   Yet, the message inside the texting can be misunderstood.  

So the next time, someone writes “ yeah” or “sure”, don’t assume you know what they mean,  If you are not 100% certain, you better check it out.

Call that person and listen to the tone in his or her voice.  What do you hear?

Does this person sound warm and confirming or annoyed and sarcastic?

In the above example, each word could express an entirely different meaning depending on who sent it, why it was sent at that moment in time, plus the sender’s mood and intentions.

The moral here is to be careful.  Otherwise, you might create a misperception for yourself based on reading words and not knowing what feelings drove the text.

Last, don’t forget to consider your relationship to that person as that could also be very telling.

Till Next Time

Andrea

www.DrAndreaCorn.com

What is the one area of self-improvement you would like to create for yourself in 2011?

Are you ready and willing to say to yourself, I want to make this change?

Do you have faith in yourself?  Can you envision yourself achieving this transformation?

In order to succeed, you first need to believe.

Making a personal change is not easy, but it isn’t impossible either.

Pick something fairly easy at first, that you feel you can master.

Try not to set yourself up by expecting to make a change that is unrealistic.

In order to make the effort, you must be mindful and think about what you are going to do differently.

You will also need to show determination and not give up.

Sometimes it is hard to sustain will power, but as long as you don’t give in to won’t or can’t power and are patient and supportive, you are headed in the right direction to accomplish your goal.

Till Next Time

Andrea

www.DrAndreaCorn.com

Rather than complain, why not reclaim this time for yourself!

Would you like to score points in your relationship with your guy?   Can you let him watch the college bowl games and the upcoming NFL playoffs without giving him a hard time?

Football season will be ending soon.   Certainly, his total fascination could leave you feeling ignored or neglected.  And, feeling hurt would be understandable.

No one likes to feel displaced. But, how about looking at this situation differently?   There is another perspective you could try.  And, that would be, to focus on making yourself happy this time of year, rather than narrowing your attention to his unavailability

Choose to use this time to engage in some activity or learn something that appeals to you. Can you shift your focus?  Try treating yourself kindly.  It will

certainly feel better than remaining hurt or angry.

And, if you can figure out something you will enjoy doing, not only will you be taking charge and showing healthy

independence; but you may surprise yourself by finding a hobby that becomes fulfilling or a creative talent that was lying dormant.

Till Next Time

Andrea

www.DrAndreaCorn.com

Where have most of the good manners gone?

A long time ago  (I believe) civility reigned.  Good manners were the norm, and children and adults participated in these daily rituals of being courteous to one another. 

 Saying “please” and  “thank you” or even “I’m sorry, while meaning it and looking that person in the eye occurred. 

I am saying this because those moments seem more distant and far away.   

I can’t pinpoint when it started to change or all the numerous factors that contributed to the decline, but what I see when I am in department stores, supermarkets, restaurants, sporting events, etc., makes me take notice and wonder.

I believe in the value and importance of good manners. 

 So, I’ll ask, “what can be done to re-kindle and raise awareness?”   

I’ll give my shout out to grandparents, parents, and adults to please take the lead. 

You can set the example by taking the time to display kindness, 

respect, and an under

standing to others that you would also like shown to you.   

Till Next Time

Andrea

www.DrAndreaCorn.com