Alleviate your child’s fear of Hurricanes
Some children are very sensitive and easily impacted by the news they see on TV or hear on the radio.
Hearing reports about tropical storms brewing out in the Atlantic that potentially could become the next hurricane can lodge in a child’s mind and exacerbate his or her fears.
Here are some thoughts on how you may help your child during the hurricane season in South Florida.
Young children’s fears often arise when information heard is abstract and therefore, not fully understood.
Children are very eager to learn about the world around them, but they need help to make sense of the information presented.
Children under the age of eight often cannot grasp complex concepts.
Thus, hearing about a tropical storm thousands of miles away that has the potential to change into a hurricane is beyond his or her cognitive ability.
Your child may know what it’s like to be in a thunderstorm, but that does not fully explain the power of a hurricane.
Moreover, your child may be thinking about this event in very personal terms; wondering could these strong winds and pounding rain could personally affect his or her immediate surrounding and family.
It your find your child asking the same questions over and over without satisfaction, chances are your youngster is anxious. In that case, it would be best to first reassure and comfort your child before providing factual answers.
It’s not the question that causes his or her worry, rather it is the unspoken thoughts or feelings that are disturbing. It would be best to acknowledge your child’s apprehension and let them know it is ok.
By reassuring your child, you are actually reducing his or her fear by speaking about its presence. Ironically, talking about what is scary can actually bring relief.
But, if you find your child is still uneasy, then you need to find out if something else is weighing on your child’s mind. Otherwise, it may just take a little longer than anticipated for the worry to dissipate.
Some children may remain anxious because they’ve picked up some verbal or nonverbal cues from their mother or father.
Besides letting your child know you will do everything necessary to protect your home, townhome, condo, or apt. paying attention to your youngster’s non-verbal communication is critically important.
And, if you can relay your words in soothing way without getting exasperated, this too will help create an atmosphere of safety. Your child needs to know it is ok to share innermost thoughts, feelings, as well as fantasies.
This can also help your child realize there is a difference between what is real and unreal.
One last idea may be to allow your child to participate in simple hurricane preparations. Letting your child put the peanut butter in the grocery cart, to using a tracking map to physically document the next storm may decrease anxiety and create a greater sense of personal control.
Whether your child fears hurricanes or other weather-related events helping your youngster develop ways to appropriately cope is teaching a valuable life lesson.
There will always be storms we must weather in life, whether actual or metaphorical.
Knowing that it is safe to discuss and share one’s feelings is important.
Once this lesson is learned, the better your child will fare. A reassuring word, comforting gesture, or hug can make all the difference as you let your child know you are there to comfort and soothe his or her fears which is actually more powerful than you may realize.
For additional information and practical tips, check out Fema’s website: www. fema.gov/kids)
Till next time
Dr Andrea Corn
www.DrAndreaCorn.com
http://www.facebook.com/DrAndreaCorn
A letter from Concerned..
Dear Concerned,
Before I get into the heart of your letter, I would like to compliment you first, by pointing out a positive aspect of your letter. Based on your question it appears you and your ex husband have been able to co-parent rather well; putting aside painful personal feelings from the past and acting in the best interest of your children. Being able to accomplish that is commendable, as it is not always easy to do.
Psychologically, one of the most damaging consequences for children of divorce is witnessing ongoing parental conflict. This only creates misunderstandings, confusion, loyalty conflicts, plus resentment, anger, feelings of sadness and loss. Additionally, when erratic and unpredictable parental relationships start to occur, it negatively impacts a child’s well-being, self-esteem, plus peer and other relationships.
Of course, your worry and concern is understandable. But, it would help to learn how to calm yourself down and not let such thoughts and feelings get the best of you. Remember, nothing is going to change immediately. I caution you to stay in the here and now and be present focused rather than imagine worst case scenarios. This is important. Your ex-husband has stated his plan which is to commute. So far; he has been a reliable and consistent presence in your children’s lives. And, that is important to remember. It’s way too soon to know whether this job is so demanding that it requires him to relocate.
If your anxiety persists, perhaps you may want to explore with a therapist what is fueling your fears. I only wish to point out how excessive worrying hurts your emotional or mental well-being. If would be preferable to put your energies into working on yourself and figuring out ways to ease your distress rather than put significant time, money, and energy into preventing an outcome that may never come to pass.
Understandably, you goal is to ensure your children’s stability and security, but at the same time, be careful you don’t unnecessarily cause them worry either. Most children are well aware of any changes noted in their parent’s behavior or communications. If either of your children sense discomfort or apprehension on your part, chances are, whether spoken or unspoken it will affect them too. And, if your children withhold their thoughts or feelings, it doesn’t mean they haven’t noticed a difference in your demeanor. It is possible their silence may reflect a wish to protect you. However, they would also be misinterpreting what they see, and that could lead to inaccurate conclusions on their part.
Having said all of that, my hope is that you will proceed slowly. It may be wise to consult with an attorney to know your rights and gather all the necessary facts and information. Or, you may consider meeting with your ex-husband to discuss your concerns before any action is taken. At least this would demonstrate an effort to co-parent rather than act unilaterally. For instance, are you currently using Family Wizard to coordinate your co-parenting schedules? (www.familywizard.com) ? If not this website might alleviate some of your concerns as it would enable each of you to keep track of the children through the calendar, message board, journal, plus all the other features offered. Best of all, it may facilitate a better working relationship between the two of you by getting the children out of the middle and making their lives more secure.
TIPS FOR PARENTS HANDLING TWEEN’S:
TIPS FOR PARENTS HANDLING TWEEN’S
www.DrAndreaCorn.com
Youth Sports – it’s your child’s time, not yours.
F Fix your mind on helping your child enjoy his or her sporting experience.
U Understand this sport is what you child enjoys. Be on the sidelines to offer cheers and support.
N No matter what, be constructive in your praise. This is your child’s time, not yours.
Stop and Breathe
Stop and Breathe……. How long is your holiday shopping list this year? Is it larger than you had hoped for? Are you starting to feel the stress of what lies ahead despite your good intentions of wanting to be generous and thoughtful? Despite your desire to be kind-hearted, if you find yourself feeling frazzled, tense, [...]
Dr Andrea Corn
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