What Should I Say To My Child About Sports Tragedies?

Parents may wonder what to say to their youngsters, if asked, about the tragic death of Georgian luger Nodar Kumariktashuili.  As families from around the US and possibly other countries watched the opening ceremonies, they were presented with this terribly stunning and heart breaking news.  Such an incident seemed unimaginable, knowing these talented athletes had prepared for years for this event.  Regardless, this life ending tragic accident has raised questions about this Olympic Luge course.

However, the purpose of this blog is to help parents respond to their son or daughter if he or she asks questions about this horrible event.  Depending upon developmental age and stage of your child, your response will vary. Without getting into specifics at this point, what is most important is to be keenly aware of your child’s reaction.  This will help you  know what to say.  Along with paying attention to your child’s question, try and be mindful of his or her non verbal communications, which includes voice tone (anxiety, curiosity, or fear), body language, and/or behavior (such as waking up in the middle of the night due to having a nightmare.)

Your child could surprise you by raising a  thoughtful or poignant question, wondering aloud why did did such a this happen? Or, could I die playing (fill in the blank) sports?    Younger children will insert themselves in the question, whereas older children are better able to shift perspectives and reveal their thoughts and feelings about the terrible event.  Still, it is helpful if you can enable your youngster to see the differences between what is probable vs. what is actually possible (for example, lightening may strike, but the possibility of it striking you is considerably smaller).  The main emphasis at this point will be to answer your child’s question simply, directly, and honestly.

Just remember, if you child starts asking you about this tragic incident, focus on your child’s feelings first, (be it anxious, scared, or sad) before answering his or her question directly; because comforting  and soothing should take precedent.  Hearing frightening news an be very scary.   Your child needs your reassurance in order to feel his or her world is a safe place.   By alleviating your child’s fears, you have given your child what is most important, and that is the sense of felt emotinal security.