Tweens, Texting, and Parenting – don’t lose your real connection

While there is a comfort factor in knowing you can be key strokes away from being in touch with your tween or teen whenever needed; yet the concern I wish to express to parents is to be aware that allowing your youngsters greater and greater reliance on texting and less on the art of actual conversation, may negatively impact your parenting. Face to face conversation with parents involve listening to not only your words, but also the emotions and sometimes intentional intonations behind your message. With texting, (as well email), sometimes the real feelings end up being misunderstood or completely lost because reading words cannot be equated with hearing, seeing, and understanding you in that moment.
Yes, we have become a society hooked on our digital technology for all it offers our finger tips at phenomenal speeds. However, such split second artifically creates the idea that conversations should be quick and brief.
Parents, please do not lose sight of what may be considered “old school” or even “old fashioned”, but there will be times when you need to take the necessary amount of time to engage in face to face interactions, where pausing, reflecting on your thoughts and feelings, or even struggling at times to find the right words or share your feelings is not easy. Yet, it also demonstrate the intensity and probably importance of the moment. If you find your conversations occurring with more frequency on a flat screen in short hand lingo, you have only yourself to blame.
Parents, don’t lose sight of the necessity for real and meaningful conversations where one or both sides may struggle – struggle to say what needs to be said, yet take the time to talk it out and work it through. Even these moments are important in teaching your son or daughter this occurs will occur; even when offering your advice, knowledge, and lived experience, as well as your need to be a disciplinarian. The concern I am expressing is the decline in knowing how to talk to another. Kids need to have their parents role model how to engage in reasonable or civil conversation, to respect one another’s feelings, and to be able to handle disagreements, disappointments, as well as appropriately assert oneself so bad behavior or inappropriate interactions that we have read about and witnessed in our communities and others don’t escalate to cause embarassement, to shame, or even unspeakable harm.