Thoughts on Psychology

Year End Reflections……

Now that the calendar page has turned to December, have you taken the time to stop and reflect on 2011 and what is has brought or taken from you?

For some, it has brought blessings and new beginnings. Yet, for others, this has been a difficult year; full of struggles, disappointments, and heartbreaks.  For some this year may have been about loss: whether it involved the ending of a relationship, a decline in health, or perhaps the ending of a job.

Often, a loss is associated with something sad and unpleasant.  Yet, sometimes saying goodbye to someone or some situation may be a necessary ending.  Perhaps you might even have remained longer than you should have in an unrewarding situation despite receiving all those signals in your head or heart to exit.   Sometimes misery is dismissed and feelings are rationalized, as if it is simply part of the human condition.

The Best Gift of All

If you could give yourself one gift, but a gift you cannot purchase in a store, or find in a catalog, or shop for on line, what would you select?

It happens to be a gift everyone possesses, if they chose to look within. 

And, that is the gift of being kind and considerate to yourself. 

 If you can withhold unrealistic self-criticism, negativity, or judgmental thoughts, and instead find a way to be more supportive, reassuring, and empathic, you will have given yourself an incredible present.  

It is the kind of gift that provides comfort and inner security during times of need.

Developing self-acceptance is invaluable for peace of mind and truly becomes a present that keeps on giving….. 

Till next time

Dr Andrea Corn

www.DrAndreaCorn.com

http://www.facebook.com/DrAndreaCorn

Holiday Blues

If you find yourself dreading the upcoming holiday season and wishing to escape the flurry of social activities, family gatherings, or gift giving perhaps you’ve feeling the holiday blues.   Why do some adults experience this melancholy frame of mind that tempers holiday joy is as complicated as the many lives it affects.  What is known is that this general malaise is of far less intensity and duration than seasonal affective disorder or a depressive disorder, both clinically diagnosable mood disorders.  Although this blah feeling is less debilitating, this down in the dumps feeling is hard to shake.

Some adults find themselves in a downward spiral because reminiscing about the past brings more sadness than joy.   Others become saddened over the absence of cherished family traditions.  Many South Floridians are separated down here from loved ones or are alone as a result of divorce, illness, or other personal losses.  Recent economic conditions have brought additional restrictions to where opening one’s home, one’s heart, or one’s wallet becomes a heavy and unwelcome burden.

Truth be told, the holiday blues are not just defined by one’s external reality.  Frequently, this condition is related to what’s happening inside the recesses of one’s mind.

It may be hard to believe one’s thinking could also be a culprit. Notwithstanding medical, financial, or relationship problems, if more time is spent brooding about the past, rehashing old injustices or worrying about what has yet come to pass, then one’s thoughts perpetuate their own misery.

You can give yourself a wonderful gift, and that is the gift of peace of mind. But, you must be willing to change your outlook. Yes, it takes mental discipline, but with practice and perseverance, you can gain greater mental and emotional self-control.

If you are saying humbug to yourself reading this, chances are, your negative thinking is stronger than you realize.  It is scary to leave behind what’s familiar. As much as one hates to suffer, it is sometimes harder to risk trying something new. Changing deeply ingrained patterns and ways of thinking requires conscious effort, but it is possible to do.

Despite whatever circumstances exist in your life, and no matter your age, you have the potential to lift the dark clouds and dispel the blues that permeates your being.    This article can only point you in the direction to be more aware of what’s going on inside of you rather than dismiss or ignore all those cues.  Otherwise, they will remain pent up inside and continue to fester.

This holiday season can you learn to be your own best friend and accept yourself with less criticism and fewer unrealistic expectations?  If you can be your own source of comfort and support, then you are well on your way to lifting the holiday blues.

Here are a few other tips to help more joy into your life.

1)       Appreciate what makes you unique. Identify your personal assets (i.e., a good problem solver or listener).

2)      Give yourself a gift:  It could be kindness, forgiveness, or perhaps patience.

3)      Get busy. Activity is a wonderful way to forget your own problems and get out of your head.  Consider volunteering.

4)      Gifts can come from the heart.  Not all gifts must be store bought.  Share a favorite recipe or send an email sharing a memorable family story.

5)      Appreciate your surroundings. Take a walk on the beach, or by a park.  Reconnect with nature.

6)      Choose friends who make you laugh and feel good.

7)      Fulfill a realistic dream.

Yet, if none of these suggestions lift your spirits, please, consult with your medical doctor as your symptoms requires further attention.

Till next time

Dr Andrea Corn

www.DrAndreaCorn.com

http://www.facebook.com/DrAndreaCorn

Thanksgiving turmoil?

Do you look forward to this holiday?

Generally speaking it is a festive time that involves feasting and being together with family and/or friends. But, for some it can be a day that is accompanied by trepidation and/or discomfort.

It’s natural to want this holiday to be one that is as joyful as it is delicious.  Yet, past memories can kindle disappointments that detract from a day remembered for being about gratefulness and appreciation.  

You can do your best to make this day about being thankful for what  you have in your life.

 Hopefully there is something —that brings joy and gratitude.

It may be your family, friends, career, health, or freedom to pursue your dreams.

But, if you find worries, doubts, disappointments, or resentments weighing on your mind, then it takes away from being able to see what you have.

On this day of thanks,  remember you have a choice….

Either you can take in and feel good about yourself, your life, and your surroundings.  If you do, you can feast on your own peace of mind.

Or you can let others influence your mood, your mind, and take you out of your comfort zone, where discomfort fills you up. 

On this day, thank yourself if you can stay in a positive frame of mind; and not be drawn into arguments where others dish out their unpleasantries.

If you can, then your Thanksgiving will be sweeter as self-restraint has been used.  It can prevent over-indulging in food or drink to escape as well as not over- reacting to distasteful words. 

 Be careful not to create a bigger problem than there really is.

After all the only turkey you want to see on that day in the lovely roasted bird being carved on the dining room table.  

Till next time

Dr Andrea Corn

www.DrAndreaCorn.com

http://www.facebook.com/DrAndreaCorn

Stop and breathe

 How long is your holiday shopping list this year?  Is it larger than you had hoped for? Are you starting to feel the stress of what lies ahead despite your good intentions of wanting to be generous and thoughtful?   You may have the best intentions and desire to give unselfishly to others; yet if you find yourself feeling frazzled, tense, and worried too much about everyone else, then perhaps you are neglecting your own emotional needs. 

 Certainly, it is a joy to give to others, but don’t forget to find time to take care of yourself as well. 

Till next time

Dr Andrea Corn

www.DrAndreaCorn.com

http://www.facebook.com/DrAndreaCorn

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