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t!J MY T·BALL TEAM has a player who is really shy. While he performs

well during practice when there's a lot going on, he's petrified dur­ ing a game when there are people watching him, especially when he bats. How can I help him come out of his shell? He's a great kid and I don't want to push him too hard for fear that he may just quit if it gets too traumatic.

• You're on the right track. His shyness shouldn't interfere with his

athleticism. Still, this is not the kind of child you want to "push."

Chances are he's already experiencing an excessive amount of inter nalized pressure regarding his performance, and if he receives any more, he might give up. While we don't know what causes his dis­ comfort, we know he suffers in competitive situations.

Children are prone to avoid engaging in an activity if an unpleas­ ant outcome is feared in advance. Performance anxiety is based upon a variety of erroneous beliefs or cognitive distortions that can make a situation seem worse than it really is. In other words, this child believes his own negative, self-defeating thinking.

At this developmental stage, you should focus on making him try his best and not on whether he is a star player. Spend time talk­ ing with him. Helping him feel positive about himself - separate and apart from his performance - will help negate the irrational beliefs, as well as help instill self-confidence.

Andrea Corn, PSy.D., is a private practitioner at Child and Family Psychologists (Plantation, Fla.) She is a member of the American Psychological Association, Florida Psychological Association and the National Association of Sports Psychologists.