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by DR. ANDREA CORN

A TIME FOR SPORTS

YOUTH SPORTS ARE 0 PLAC for divorced parents to wage battle.

Wen parents are separated or divorced, some chil­ dren dread participating in athletic activities that place mom and dad together in a situation that can be uncomfortable.

So when it comes to youth sports activities, parents must put aside their differences and act - and it may just be that ­ as if they're on a united front. If the parents can put aside their personal problems and participate in the best interest of their child, they'll demonstrate a far more important principle: that their child is genuinely loved and supported by mom and dad.

Following are five tips for parents that will help put their children's interest above their own and ensure the sporting event is a positive experience.

Andrea Corn, PSy.D., is in private practice at Child and Family Psychologists in Plantation, Fla. She is a member of the American Psychological Association, the Florida Psychological Association and the National Association of Sports Psychologists.

26 I SPRinG 2003

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1 DO NOT ENGAGE IN ANY DISCUSSIONS that could lead to a heated conflict or argument during your child's

• game or practice. Topics involving money, discipline, role modeling and conflicting schedules should be avoided. Arrange a time to discuss these matters at a later date.

2 DO NOT SPEAK NEGATIVELY about the other parent in front of your child, his or her team, or other par-

• ents. This is not a competition to prove who's the better parent.

3 THERE MAY BE TIMES when a parent may feel left out, especially if the other parent brings family mem-

• bers, friends and/ or a date to the game. While this can be upsetting, try not to reveal your feelings during the game. Think about what to do the next time. If your emotions continue, you might want to seek counseling to work through your feelings. While it's easier said than done, any parent can learn to change and control his or her behaviors in the moment.

4 DO YOUR BEST TO CONTROL UPSETTING or angry emo­ tions. For example, if you see your child speaking to

• your spouse first, don't make assumptions that you're not as important or loved. There could be many rea­ sons for this occurrence, i.e., your child didn't see you; your child was excited since your spouse rarely attends the games; your child is secure in knowing how much you love and sup­ port his/her efforts, etc.

5 DO YOUR BEST TO DEMONSTRA E what you've preached to your child about the values of playing sports and

• exhibiting good sportsmanship. If possible, try to model this in your behaviors. Do your best to be civil, since your child in other situations will copy your behavior.

N~-­ ALUANCE -~y...:tt~