... AND GET MOVING TOGETHER
Dear Dr. Corn,
School will soon be ending and before my two daughters, 8 and 10, go off to camp I want to spend time with them enjoying vari ous outdoor activities. My concern is my girls are content stay!ng indoors, watching nt, chatting online or on the phone to their friends, or playing video games. I am a
strong believer in continuing family tradi tions, which is one reason why I want to peri odically steer them away from their electronic preoccupations. And, it really bothers me to see this seemingly insatiable need to be online' just so they can stay in touch with all of their friends. Can you help?
Many parents share your concern. Par ents want to spend quality time together as well as see more than their children's fingers getting a workout. Time maga zine recently ran a cover story, "The Multitasking Generation" in which the magazine reported that 82 percent of children are online by seventh grade. Computers offer enticing and captivating possibilities for games, movies, e-mails, checking out web sites, instant-messag ing and listening to the radio and music. At the same time, the American Obesity Association notes that approximately 30 percent of children ages 6 to 11 are over-
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Ages 3-.13
Ages 14-16 CJ.T. Program
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ESOl & lANGUAGE IMMERSION
We will offer youth and adult summer sessions for ESOL and foreign lanuage immersion classes.
SEK INTERNATIONAL SCI-lOOL
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weight. Certainly, an important issue fac-
. ing parents today is figuring out ways to involve their children in physical activi ties in order to prevent their waistlines from expanding. Of course there are a host of other factors that play a significant role in children becoming overweight, including one's family's genetics, poor nutrition, disinterest in exercising or playing sports, and unhealthy eating pat terns.
What do you need to do?
If your goal is to increase your children's activity level, the best way to create a change is your willingness to take the lead and set a good example yourself. Otherwise, you could inadvertently give your daughters a mixed message, which would undermine your good intentions. Children don't like to be told what to do, especially if their parent does not adhere to the same message. You want to be a positive influence by living through your words so your daughters are inclined to join you.
What else you need to consider You will also need to determine how much time you will allow your children to spend on the computer as well as any other electronic device. It will not be productive to complain. get angry or make empty threats about eliminating the computer's existence from your . home. That would just be unrealistic, and your children won't believe you. Instead, use appropriately assertive lan guage and let your children know ahead of time your schedule for regulating these various screen times during their summer vacation.
It will help to anticipate some displeas ure if this is a departure from your usual stance. It is likely they will have some difficulty adjusting to limits being set and changes in your rules, especially if they weren't enforced before.
Maintain a calm demeanor and be ready to acknowledge and validate their feelings. For example: "I can see how much this bothers you. I know you don't
want to leave your computer right now." Don't be surprised if you see some non compliance as they could be reacting to -/~onger getting their way. You will need k ~e-establish your authority and use "I" statements in your communications. Don't let their attitude pr:event you from hitting the "power off" key. Keep refram ing the situation in the affirmative as this is an opportunity for your family to enjoy a recreational activity together as well as engage in physical fitness. More often than not, a child's willingness to pursue an activity is based on the child's percep tion of whether or not participating will be pleasurable and fun. Then~fore, be sure to provide positive attention and encour agement for their making an effort. In other words, depending on what you say and how it is said, your children may be motivated to join you or not be willing to . try. There are also physical, social and emotional benefits in promoting a healthy lifestyle. Family bonding, feelings of well being and better social skills can all be bypro ducts of your interactions.
Fortunately, during the summer there -s usually fewer child-oriented sched ules to maintain, and with daylight hours lasting into the evenings, activities can be planned any time.
You could consider flying a kite at the beach, renting paddle boats at a lake, or taking a natUre walk at the park. Such outings can make a lasting impression as children often experientially learn some thing new about themselves. Perhaps sharing your favorite memories from childhood will help engage them in this process. As your children learn to accept the periodic interruption of their electron ic world, they may be pleasantly sur prised to find there is another world outside to enjoy and discover what occurs without having to plug in.
Dr. Andrea Corn is a child and family psycholo gist in private practice. She is a member of
the American Psychological Association and 'Ill! Association for the Advancement
-iports PsychOlogists.
At South Florida's best known day camp, your camper will love the large selection of activities and our talented, experienced staff! Two locations
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| MAY 2006 • SOUTH FLORIDA PARENTING |
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